In a pub I met someone from the music scene. Some pianist, not a friend, just an acquaintance. Someone with whom I once recorded something at some point. In contrast to him, I actually gave up my instrument, the guitar, a long time ago and do all kinds of other things now. I have sold all but one of my guitars. At the moment I was without a job and unfortunately without any idea how this situation could have changed. But my counterpart didn't know anything about that and after a few drinks he told me about a very well paid gig in an extremely weird environment. He was quite keen to describe this job to me. Unfortunately I was already drunk and not attentive anymore, but I noticed that they were looking for a special act: a kind of artistic routine on a musical instrument - no normal songs, and that the fee was supposed to be enormous for what he had delivered. Sometime later and after some back and forth he gave me the contact, a phone number, on a beer mat.

I hadn't touched a guitar for about five years. Actually, I was back to the state I was in when I started playing in bands. I still have exactly one guitar and one amplifier, just like in the beginning, and my playing practice was heading towards zero. This exchange and euphoria of making music together with others had simply lost its appeal for me at some point and for some reason. Now there was a huge distance and I suddenly found it just absurd to let an audience personally take part in my musical emotions. Nevertheless I called the number. The head physician of a hospital answered. At least that was what I thought. I asked my questions and we made a short-term appointment.

The next day I went there. The building, which I quickly found at the given address, was new and something between hospital, residence and laboratory complex. The person I had an appointment with was the director of this institution and was also a white coat, a doctor or scientist, or both.

He was extremely pleased with my appearance and immediately offered me a chance to perform in his joint. When I asked him what exactly he had in mind, he described something like a clownish conversation. Something like a humorous artistry on the instrument. Something totally surprising for the ears, beyond melody and rhythm and as unconventional as possible. I thought I understood him roughly, but I didn't ask for more information, also because of the enormous fee for a manageable performance. We quickly came to an agreement. I was told the day of the show, we said goodbye and I left the place.

At home, I was no longer sure if I shouldn't undo the whole thing, as I was completely unsure if I could get anything done. I have had an extremely long break and didn't touch a guitar at all during this time. I really needed to come up with something quickly. Fortunately, it wasn't about virtuosity in the sense of a musical performance, but rather about an experimental sound event on a guitar. This did not mean less intensity in musical expression, but much more individual freedom. I could certainly come up with something there.

When the day arrived, I went back, together with my equipment. My setup was done quickly and I played on a small stage in a room for about 150 audience members.

It was the most extraordinary concert I have ever done. The audience, all of whom were pushed into the hall on vehicles whose construction I had never seen before, were somehow not human. Some of them had a head and arms where humans have them, but most of them were somehow a body mass with eyes and ears. Some were less deformed so that they still resembled a human anatomy, others looked like biomass bodies with sensory organs and strange extremities or they were missing completely. The movable constructions on small wheels, which functioned like chairs or seats, served to keep the bodies stable, to fix them in a position.

Close together, the helpers pushed my audience in front of the stage until the room was fully occupied. Not a sound came from them, they were simply present. Then I began with my number. I quickly had the necessary concentration for my musical sequence. I demonstrated my instrument and what you can do with an electric guitar, playing between sound and noise, with and without aids like stones or sand or the materials I have always worked with.

I had a pretty good flow despite my lack of routine and was so deep in the matter that I almost forgot the environment. Obeying the inner logic of the lecture, I eventually came to an end. When the last note had faded away, it became quiet again, until after what felt like an eternity, a soft buzzing started and my audience started to make more and more strange, noisy sounds. They were strange sounds of life, similar to panting, hissing or smacking, and the bodies hardly moved at all, but the soundscape swelled incessantly, only to suddenly and abruptly break off. Shortly afterwards, the helpers began to push my audience out of the hall with a calm routine. A little later I was alone again until the director showed up and asked me to come to his office to “take care of the formalities”, as he called them.

He began by asking me if what I had experienced had shocked me. I didn't know exactly how to answer it because I had never heard, seen or even imagined anything like it before and I wanted to know what exactly he meant by his question. He then explained to me why my fee was so high. Besides the fee for the performance, it is also a kind of compensation for the sight and the nightmares that will haunt me for some time to come. I will have the same fate as all the others before me. Even before I could ask him, he beat me to it and spoke of the beings that were my audience. He described them as an unfortunately still occurring flawed result of his research. Despite the legal framework, an official prohibition to experiment with the genome and to protect created life unconditionally, no matter at what stage of development, he and his collaborators are researching the genome of humans and other creatures in any form. His laboratories were a research project that had been financed exclusively by the state for years, which, despite the social vote by law to protect life and to leave the genetic material untouched, was conducted secretly and in silence. Unfortunately, he also had to treat his failures like people and couldn’t simply dispose of them as failed attempts. He then asked me to briefly sign the contract and the declaration of secrecy before paying my fee and also to read the appendix. I did not receive a copy.

Cape Cod, August 2019